


Cosmic Scales

by SoleilVioleta



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, more headcanons than stars in the sky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18651634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoleilVioleta/pseuds/SoleilVioleta
Summary: Balance is the only true ruler of the universe.Queen Serenity & Sailor Galaxia grew up together? The Moon Clan hides a curse tied to their power? Princess Serenity lives a sheltered life while the scouts bloody their hands regularly? Beryl plans the rebellion long before Endymion and Serenity even meet? Modern day senshi get up to poly shenanigans- only to find out an all consuming darkness awaits? Chibi-Usa struggles with personal identity?The dramatic, elegant, and edgy AU you always needed- with a thematic focus on universal balance.Inspired by a few of my favorite headcanons and works from tumblr, but I type the chapters directly into the text box here and don't proofread or beta at all. I'll add my inspirations as I go through each phase of the moon so that credit is given!





	1. Section Index: Moon Phases

First Quarter Half Moon: Apollonia (Galaxia) & Saturniida (Queen Serenity) grow up together, falling in love. Things seem to be going well until Saturniida's family curse comes to fruition in a gruesome way. Apollonia abandons her throne and vows to find a cure.

Waxing Gibbos Moon: Queen Serenity becomes the most beautifully ethereal warlord to have ever existed- conquering planets left and right. Sailor Galaxia grapples with chaos, knowing there's a 50/50 chance she'll eventually succumb.

Full Moon: A new era has risen from the settled dust. Princess Serenity grows up surrounded by her Senshi. Some seem more distant than others, but her gravity pulls them to her the same.

Waning Gibbos Moon: Princess Serenity & Endymion fall in love- this proves to be controversial. The worst time to fall in love is when your kingdom is on the precipice of a great war. Towers crumble before the Moon Clan curse has time to grip- but another karmic curse evolves alongside it.

Last Quarter Half Moon: Usagi and the Senshi meet, fight evil, and fall in love. Mamoru hangs out too.

Waning Crescent Moon: Usage & Co. start to suspect that not everything is as it seems. The scales re-center in a terrifying way.

Last Quarter Half Moon: Sailor Galaxia returns, and is summarily dissipated. Sailor Cosmos weeps tears that split time, bemoaning her ultimately selfish nature. As usual, Usagi self-sacrifices to save the day. Unusually- it's not bloody. Just sad.

Waning Crescent Moon: Chibi-Usa grapples with her sense of self and the obligations thrust upon her.

New Moon: Chibi-Usa asks Puu to give her a reprieve from the curse. It's temporary, as most things are. (Or is it?)

Waxing Crescent Moon: Alternate Ending: Chibi-Usa asks Puu to give her a reprieve from the curse. The reprieve is granted, the cycle ends, and Chibi-Usa gets a new name.


	2. First Quarter Half Moon Pt I

The most recent memory she has of her mother, Queen Serenity, talking to her in private isn't a kind one (they rarely are). They sit outside the construction site of the new palace- to be made of glistening marble and moonstone- finally away from retainers, subjects, and visiting politicians. Even the servants seem preoccupied with their own duties. Space feels empty without someone watching over her- her Mother's gaze assessing the work as it's done.

"Always remember that the crescent wand you hold will one day be a sickle. As easily as you give, you will take."

Saturniida starts and inhales sharply in surprise as the Queen addresses her directly. She holds her hands together, clasping her fingers over one another, "Um-"

"Um?" The Queen mimics, "They've taught you little of how royalty is to speak." Her face doesn't move in disdain. Her voice doesn't waver into anything other than the placid lake it ever is. Her words are sharp to Saturniida, but not as if they're made to hurt. They seem truthful and almost neutral- a statement that is blunt, not sanded to an edge.

She squeezes her hands together, running her fingernails over her palms, "Apologies Mother. I meant to ask you to clarify your earlier statement." The words fall clumsily from her slightly buck teeth and trip over her lips as she fidgets.

"I don't care to clarify." and with these words the conversation is over. The two sit in silence, perched perfectly together. A strong breeze blows through the 4 inch wide chasm between them, barely ruffling Queen Serenity's silver-white ringlet curls, but whipping Saturniida's violet hair into a frenzy of shapes.

The Queen lifts her hand and Saturniida's hair lays flat, as a servant comes bustling over- "My! Young Lady! I apologize your majesty Queen Serenity, ever so gracious!"

The Queen looks upon the servant and smiles, "Please attend to my daughter, I have matters to oversee." she leaves without saying goodbye.

The servant turns to Saturniida and kneels, fussing at her dress and hair (all still perfectly unruffled from the Queen's magic). She's got tears in her eyes and her voice wavers when she speaks, "You're so lucky to have her as your mother."

Saturniida wants to sigh but she can't in front of this woman, who goes on in a hushed tone slightly choking, "When the Great War was ending, she chose to save my son. My son, who she'd never once met. Never once heard of. And he still lives today." She turns her face to the sky as she stands, perhaps thinking of her planet, her home, her son, or perhaps in a gesture of reverence. Saturniida can never tell the difference.

Later that night she receives a small box with a single one of her mother's golden bangles. It's much too large for her slender wrist, and she takes to moving it up and down her arm when she's nervous.

The note with it reads, "To remind you." It fills her with dread. To remind her of what? Their conversation? Her mistake? A cryptic message about a sickle? It gnaws and gnaws at her as she hears the people say, "Look at the beautiful gift her mother gave her. From her own wrist. It's blessed."

She writes a thank you letter- beautifully penned in silver script.

After she sends it off to her mother through the palace courier she shoves the note from the box under her bed. She doesn't need to be reminded. She can never forget.


	3. First Quarter Half Moon Pt II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter WIP

The day everything changed seemed no different than the last-- until it did.

Saturniida sat on the chaise lounge of the second upper west balcony- the one above the library- reading. The sheer curtains drifted lazily through the french windows that comprised the outermost wall. She was utterly lost in her book while her handmaiden practiced needlepoint. Another of her lower servants began to take her latest stack of books to her room when the large door to the upper main hall exploded open- sending the man and the books flying.

Saturniida raised an eyebrow and moved not an inch as the man scrambled to get the books- but so did the person who'd knocked him over. It was a girl around her own age, with golden hair falling in waves- shimmering in contrast to the pale decor of the palace. Her dress fell only to her knees (Saturniida's were always floor-length), with plentiful gold embroidery and red bead-work. She was beautiful. Saturniida can only guess she's one of he visiting royal clans. No one else could display such wealth.

A smile radiated from they girls' face as she handed the books nearest to her back to the man, "I'm so sorry sir! Please let me help you with that!" her eyes skimmed him and she saw his knee- bleeding just a little. Instantly she dropped to his knee and dabbed at it with her sleeve- "On no! I'm so sorry!" she repeated her earlier words but sounded genuinely hurt. Saturniida had never heard royalty speak to lower ranks like that- never seen them dab at a wound- never seen them stop to look- never thought to check on them herself. The man looked horrified, clearly as shocked at the treatment as Saturniida was.

"Well don't just sit there! We need to get him to the infirmary!"

Saturniida's handmaiden, Rhea, jumps up from her chair, "Your highness need not concern yourself with us!" she scurries to the door, needlepoint in hand, and pokes her head out. The golden girl sits back on her haunches, watching. Saturniida watches her take in the room- a few bookcases, the wall of open windows, the plush rug, the small table, lounge, and chair. The intruding princess gazes for a moment at the large portrait of Queen Serenity and finally turns her gaze to Saturniida. Her resemblance to the portrait is undeniable.

"You're not going to help them?" she asks, standing up. She moves like an untamed solar flare- full of vibrant life. Before Saturniida can reply another two servants rush in. One takes the books, one escorts the original man out. Saturniida's handmaiden hovers behind the new princess as she walks over to Saturniida.

Saturniida grips her book and lets her hair fall into her face. Her bracelet clinks on the edge of the cover.

"A pleasure to meet you, your highness. I am Apollonia, first heir to the solar throne." she curtsies to Saturniida, then stands, gesturing for Rhea to sit back in her chair. Rhea looks nervous but she complies, wondering where Apollonia will sit.

Saturniida is trying to think of what her mother would say as Apollonia plops down onto the end of the chaise, kicking her feet up, "You know, we don't have servants in my kingdom."

 

Saturniida tuckes her hair behind her ear and straightens her tiara, blushing furiously, not sure if it's supposed to be a simple observation or a dig of some sort. She decides to move the topic in a non-confrontational way. "Um- then what do you do- when you have to send a letter?"

Apollonia laughs in a way that fills the room while she lazily thumbs the pages of a book on the floor, "Send a letter? Where?"

"To your mother, or to someone in another part of the palace..."

Apollonia laughs and laughs and tears prick the corner of her eyes, "We don't really have a palace like you do."


	4. First Quarter Half Moon Pt III

Apollonia eventually tires of making idle chit-chat and takes her hand, flying down the hallways into the garden at the center of the palace. "It's so beautiful!" she says and basks in the greenery. 

Saturniida has never spent much time in this garden- her mother's moon-house is the place she's expected to go and so she does. The floors there are chilly and the plants are all silver. They're beautiful and delicate but they take much care and you can't touch them. She hates it. Standing for more than a passing moment in the garden holding Apollonia's hand, she feels the soft yielding of the living, breathing, ground beneath her shoes- hears the rustling of the leaves- and something in her heart begins to stir.

Apollonia takes her hand away and lifts her arms to the sky, stetching, turning her face towards the sun and absorbing the light. The look on her face is pure bliss.

Saturniida tries it too, but loses her balance and tips over. Apollonia chuckles and tumbles to the ground herself.

As they lay together outside their hair mingles- soft orange and vibrant violet- with the grass.

The rest of the day passes more quickly than Saturniida would have liked. Apollonia explores the castle while Saturniida follows with interest, Rhea trying her best to keep them both out of trouble, lagging a few paces behind.

When they step just too far ahead of Rhea and head into the kitchens, getting their hands on the soft moon peaches meant for dessert, Rhea decides she's had enough. "It's time to begin preparations for the feast your highness, let's go wash up."

Saturniida isn't surprised but Apollonia protests and she smiles as Rhea leads her away. When has anyone ever wanted her presence like this?

She doesn't see Apollonia during the feast but she looks and blushes when she feels the Queen's curious gaze upon her.

Before bed, she receives another gift- a second bangle for her right arm. It's nestled on top of another note, "To re-center yourself from distractions. To remind you who you will be."

Saturniida tosses the box out of the window in anger and tosses the bangle across her room.

The next morning she puts it on, nervous that somehow her mother knew she left it on the floor over night. The Sun clan had left after the feast. They would not return for a long time.


	5. First Quarter Half Moon Pt IV

At 18 they stopped calling her Lady Saturniida and started calling her Princess Serenity. 

Her beautiful vibrant violet hair began to fade, from root to tip. Day by day the hue grew paler- top to bottom, top to bottom, top to bottom. She didn't know when it would be the sweet silver of the moon- ugly in every way upon her head.  
They rushed her to and fro lessons and meetings during the day, and at night- at night she was turned over to her mother.

Never had she had so much attention from her mother, and she hated it. She would traverse the spiral stairs into the dome shaped "lunar sanctuary" shaking freely. Three steps before the door she would stop- breathe- and force herself to stop shaking. Stop biting her lip. Stop clenching her fist. Stand straight. Smooth hair. Ruffle dress. Turn bangles. Smile.

Open door.

No eyes had ever seen that room that weren't destined for the throne. The room was a circle- the marble floors arranged perfectly in image of the moon. Saturniida didn't wonder if it was a perfect replica or how it came to be. She knew. The crystalline dome both gathered and diffused light, bathing the bare spectacle, pedestal in the middle , in a soft ethereal glow. On that pedestal, waist height, a perfectly sphere shaped crystal floated, ever-turning.  
-

On the first night of the moon-room, that of her 18th birthday, her mother spoke in monotone, reciting a short list of planets and numbers. "This list is the list of planets we have helped to liberate from the chaos. None of them are in our solar system. They are now self-governing, and have healthy trade with us."

Saturniida waited, but her mother waited also.

Finally Saturniida broke the silence, "And the numbers?"

"The people who died from our kingdom and from theirs to achieve this."

There was no hint to how she should feel about this. It was fact.

On her way back down the stairs she wondered what she could tell Rhea. She never stopped wondering.  
-

On the second night Queen Serenity told her the story of the first person she ever personally saved. It was a young woman about to have a child.

In the middle of a desolate field, hungry and shell shocked, there was no way the woman would have survived giving birth much less the child. Queen Serenity called upon the power of the silver lunar crystal- and she saved the child.

That child's name was Rhea.

Saturniida watched Rhea with watery eyes as they walked to her room.  
-

On the third night Queen Serenity told her the story of the first person she ever personally doomed. It was a young woman about to have a child.

In the middle of a desolate field, hungry and shell shocked, and indeed it was the same woman. Queen Serenity did not save her. She did not mention if she could or couldn't have- only that she did not. These were the details her loyal subjects did not notice. Or perhaps chose to ignore.

Saturniida didn't speak to Rhea for a week. What was there to say?  
-

On the fourth night, and nearly every night thereafter, Queen Serenity would lay hands on the crystal- then Saturniida would do the same.

She could feel its vibration permeate within her body between her teeth into her bones through every particle of her being and into her soul.

They would meditate and the crystal would grow.

It began at her hands- encasing them in hard gemstone and keeping her in place. This was when she first began to panic- as the crystal passed her fingertips. She continued to panic as it enveloped her arms- that warm vibration lifeless, the rock unyielding. It overtook her chest and head at the same time, and crept down her back and legs. Her feet- her feet could not wiggle by the time they were reached.

Her thoughts would whip into frenzy, her heart beat out of control. She was trapped and she hated this with all her might. She couldn't even grind her teeth or clench her fists or tug at her bracelets. She suffocated in that crystal cage- living only by the magic of the crystal. Every night she drifted into meditation as her consciousness ran from her- awoken again by the magic of the crystal as it slipped back into its spherical form flawlessly.

Rhea began meeting her half way up the stairs. Saturniida staggered down them and often needed help the rest of the way, body weak, tears streaming down her face, dry heaving, and tripping over nothing.  
-


	6. First Quarter Half Moon Pt V

She could plainly remember the moment she knew she wouldn't be able to handle the crystal meditations much longer.

Chatting inconsequential with a monarch she neither knew nor cared about she summoned a tray of wine.

"Why Princess Serenity- I just adore these crystal wine glasses!" he gestured wildly, tipsy already from just half a glass of the strong sparkling moon wine. She hoped he'd fall asleep soon, as a much more important guest was to be arriving the next night.

She didn't even have to try to smile wider, the tranquil expression on her face tightening into an upturn, "Thank you. We'd be delighted for you to take a set home with you. I'm sure they'll compliment your palace beautifully- a sparkling reminder of our alliance and your time here."

The words came as effortlessly as breathing. Although naturally quite shy Saturniida had no issue putting on a front. How could she- after years of training?

"Marvelous! Let me show you my favorite trick to do with a wine glass, if I may-" he took her wine glass, barely touched, and his own, now more than half empty, "The effect won't be quite the same with only two tones, but I do love to make music in this silly way of mine."

His fingers trace the edges of the glasses and the servants all ooh and ah. But Saturniida doesn't notice.

The vibration and noise produced by the glasses hit like a sword through her chest. Her breath left her not in a slow exhale but in a terrible vacuum all at once- her throat closing up, her muscles clenching to stay still. Without any warning she blacked out.

She did not see the monarch horror stricken as he was dragged away by the guards, or Rhea's panicked expression as she leaned down to pick up Saturniida's delicate, limp form- shouting confidently for a doctor to see the Princess immediately. She woke in the lunar sanctuary.

As consciousness tricked back into her she began to feel that slowly, oh so slowly, a comb was being dragged through her hair, "It grows paler by the day. Do you wonder what happens when it matches mine?"

Some people describe her mother's voice as smooth. Elegant. Calming. Saturniida feels it to be as cold and rigid as the crystal chair formed beneath her.

She speaks, so quietly, "I think I know." the comb continues to pull through her hair. Queen Serenity says not a word. "I die."

Her mother sets the comb down, rounding the chair to face her. She pulls her to her feet and turns her around, undressing her and providing a new dress. She pulls it over Saturniida's head and begins to smooth it down. Saturniida reads in books of mothers dressing children, the familial comfort of having a loved one help you, hug you. She feels more like a doll as her mother's hands clinically rid her of wrinkles. "No. You Ascend."

"Ascend?"

"You take on the body of the goddess as well as the soul and mind. Power and order fill your body, cleansing you of chaos. You become one with the crystal and it will speak to you. You will become the divine blessing that is our family- your wand will be a sickle- you will be Queen Serenity."

She steps back from Saturniida, laying a hand softly onto the silver lunar crystal. It glows under her touch, bouncing light onto her in soft pulsations. "And I will die." she glows and is changed into her most regal greeting dress, silk ribbons floating behind her. She leaves, pausing at the door, "We are greeting the Solar Clan royalty in twenty minutes. Do not be late."

Saturniida stands as still as she can- almost as still as during the crystal meditations. This is the most she's heard her mother speak in years. It's more than she spoke 6 months ago during her first nights in the lunar sanctuary. She stares absently at the crystal as it floats. She feels its' power tendriling out to her and washing over her in waves. She always can. Her mind sinks into her mother's words, replaying them over and over. She doesn't know if it's a literal description of what will happen to her- but she can't imagine that taking on a new soul is painless- only that it is inevitable.

She stands perfectly still staring through the crystal for 15 minutes. She is not late to greet the Solar Clan.

-

It's odd to have a moment so cold and frozen into time followed by a moment so bright and hot it hurts her heart. Saturniida doesn't know how she will survive this day.

The Solar clan strides in with little fanfare- a single servant their retainer, announcer, and every other duty. They walk next to this servant instead of behind of in front of him. Dressed all in shimmering gold Saturniida can't help but note how they reflect so nicely off the marble and crystal palace. And as her eyes rove over the royal family- she sees her.

Apollonia.

How could she possibly forget? And yet- she's different now. Her eyes are still bright, her smile obviously genuine, her step still with natural bounce. But now she wears pants and carries herself with swagger- with confidence- and her cheeks are freckled, and her hair- Saturniida only just stops herself from gasping. Apollonia's hair is changing too but in quite the opposite manner as her own- the ends of her beautiful orange hair- curling about her in every way- are a deep scarlet red.

Apollonia's eyes reach her own, sparkling life. There's no such thing as love at first sight. But this was the second time Saturniida had seen Apollonia, and the second sight? That's the one that did her in.


	7. First Quarter Half Moon Pt VI

Her mother had a quick chat with the two Kings of the Solar clan, and began to lead them through the halls. Their servant followed, leaving Apollonia with Saturniida and Rhea.

"So you've been tasked with keeping me company, huh?" Apollonia strode over to her easily, grinning in a way that wasn't altogether polite.

Saturniida smiled, letting her hair fall into her face just a little to hide her blush, "It wasn't so bad last time."

"I can't believe you remember. Can I see the garden again?" she stuck out her arm, and Saturniida gladly accepted. With her hand placed gently in the crook of Apollonia's arm, she could feel the muscle beneath the linen.

"It would be my pleasure Princess Apollonia." they began the short walk to the garden, Rhea in tow.

"Please, call me Apollonia. There's no need for honorifics between us." her long leisured strides slowed for Saturniida's quick small steps.

"Alright, but... I don't think my mother will like it if she hears you calling me anything less than my full title." she bit her lip in worry, but Apollonia let out a jolly laugh.

"Ok, ok! I'll call you Princess Serenity most beautiful and ethereal of the Lunar Clan, then." Rhea behind them humphed, and Apollonia leaned in, "But what shall I call you when we're alone?"

Saturniida blushed a splotchy beet red from her ears to her chest as Apollonia swept her off her feet and ran from Rhea who absolutely could not keep up.

"Put your arms around my neck and tell me where to go!" Apollonia laughed again and Saturniida's heart nearly pounded out of her chest- she'd never heard so much laughter in her life- never done anything like this. 

She smiled into Apollonia's neck, smelling cinnamon and leather, "To the garden?"

"No, she'll expect that! Somewhere else!" Apollonia continued to run, asking herself why she picked up the moon princess and ran from her retainer. She'd always hated being watched, but that wasn't what made her do it. It was a strong impulse she could have quelled, but she didn't want to. It was obvious how caged Saturniida was, how reserved she was because she had to be, not because she wanted to be. And the moment she'd seen the real smile peek through she lost it. She wanted to see that smile again and again and again.

"Where?"

"Anywhere!" and at that Saturniida let forth a small peal of laughter like tiny bells, or birds chirping, or everything wonderful Apollonia had ever heard.

They ended up strolling around the grounds of the palace chatting idly- not the kind of idle chat you have with politicians and subjects and advisers. The kind of idle chit chat you have with someone when you're so interested you're hanging on the edge of your seat just to find out what kind of food they like and what weather they think is best, each fact a treasured jewel glinting in the light of the sun. The kind of idle chit chat you have when you're falling in love and you don't know it yet- or maybe you do. \- 

"Well I don't have a lot of time to read anymore now that I'm involved in royal duties. I think next week I'm starting to sit in on the general's meetings." Saturniida pouts. People often think she'd be the pouty type but the truth is that she rarely pouts at all because it's not very becoming of a princess. The only time she would have to do so is alone at night, and that time she spends recovering from the crystal meditations, sleeping, or having a good cry.

"That's such a shame Saturniida! I'm sure you used to read all the time, especially since we met in the- oh wow! Is that the training ring?" Apollonia lights up when she sees the barracks and the accompanying grounds creep into view. Saturniida, who had been practically wrapped around Apollonia's arm and leaning on her straightened up, seeing men and women in the ring practicing.

"Yes it is. I never really come out here though, I haven't seen much of it."

They reached the ring in no time and Apollonia started up a light conversation, "Room for one more?"

The soldiers started to reply until they saw Saturniida, at which point they all dropped to their knees all muttering, "Hail your Highness Serenity." Many looked deeply embarrassed for no discernible reason- unsure of what to do in the presence of the Princess in such a setting.

Saturniida settled into a chair under some shade by the ring, "At ease. I'm giving Her Highness Apollonia of the Solar Clan a tour of the grounds. She may proceed as she wishes."

Still stiff the soldiers nodded, welcoming Apollonia to the ring. "Are they always this awkward?" she asked Saturniida, who shrugged.

"I don't know."

Apollonia rolled up her pants and took off her boots, "These would be awful for sparring anyway."she says, shrugging off her embroidered linen blouse and leaving it in Saturniida's lap- now down to just her under-shirt.

She chooses to spar with a sword and takes time to find a well balanced option, while the soldiers nervously try to decide who gets to spar the visiting princess, or who's dumb enough to volunteer.

As Apollonia steps into the middle of the ring the soldier in charge- a Captain Saturniida supposes- calls out a name. With a groan another woman about Apollonia's age steps into the ring, practice arm in hand.

As they begin the soldier doesn't seem to take things very seriously, refusing to make the first move and circling Apollonia- who looks far too relaxed to be in a fight. The air begins to get tense after two full revolutions without action, at which point Apollonia's eyes sharpen and she makes an immediate lunge. The soldier tries to parry but Apollonia seems to see this coming, dodging to move positions and elbowing the poor soldier in the back. She falls to the ground, clearly outclassed, and Apollonia returns to an idle stance, casually resting the practice weapon on her shoulder.

A more seasoned man steps up to the plate with a laugh and says something Saturniida can't hear, but both he and Apollonia laugh and shake hands before they start.

Once again she sports a relaxed posture, but Saturniida can see a smile playing on her lips. This time the soldier attacks first with a high cross, holding his secondary arm in a way that protects his torso. He has much better reach than Apollonia does, but she's quick. She blocks, feints a dodge, and retaliates, knocking the sword from the man's hand. He shakes his head with a smile.

Saturniida can tell that the men are at ease now, far more interested in one of their own besting the visiting royal- and she herself is becoming invested to. She gets up from the chair to stand at the edge of the ring, still holding Apollonia's blouse in hand. As the next opponent steps up the soldiers begin to cheer, and without thinking Saturniida calls out a cheer to Apollonia instead.

Apollonia trots back to her from the middle of the ring, "Do you have something I can tie my hair back with?" Saturniida carefully detaches one of the many ribbons from her dress in a way that it will be able to be re-attached easily. Some of the soldiers with longer hair raise an eyebrow- they all have extra hair-ties on hand. Apollonia hadn't even asked.

Back in the ring the Captain waits. She's a bit older than Apollonia but she's in her prime. She's lithe and hardy and she holds her sword a bit differently than any of the others had- like it's familiar. Her posture is a lot like Apollonia's and Saturniida finds herself holding her breath as the two immediately start a storm of a spar. They clash across the ring, the soldiers and princess not always able to keep up with what's going on.

"Did you see that?!" a soldier nearby openly guffawed as one of the Captain's hits landed on Apollonia's calf.

"I can't believe it!" from another as Apollonia landed a blow even Saturniida could hear on on her opponent's arm. The Captain winced but the two kept going. Even with the onset of night and the temperatures cooling the two fighting were working up quite a sweat- not to mention the absurd amount of dust they were kicking up.

In a quick move Apollonia bodily checked herself into the Captain and landed on top of her- practice weapon poised over her opponent's chest in triumph.

The Captain shrugged and Apollonia sprung up to bow to the crowd in an exaggerated manner. She winked at Saturniida and as the soldiers went back to their duties she spoke with the Captain for a moment before returning her practice blade.

Still as cheerful and confident as ever, Apollonia radiated warmth as she sat next to Saturniida's chair to put her boots back on and roll down her pants- dirt in all the crinkles the fabric had made. "That was fun but I've really made a mess and I'm sure dinner is soon. Where can I wash up?"

-

Saturniida hadn't minded the smell of sweat and dirt that lingered around Apollonia, but she knew they would be in some measure of trouble if they attended dinner in disarray. They made their way to her room easily and once there called for Rhea- who stomped over to draw the bath in a huff.

Saturniida changed into proper dinner attire as Apollonia bathed. Rhea was furious, "Your Highness I'm expected to report to your mother."

Saturniida met Rhea's eyes in the mirror, and for the first time she used a tone like that of her mother, "You won't report this Rhea." She felt a power behind her words she could not identify at first, but as it caressed her bangles her spine chilled.

"I won't report this Princess Serenity." Rhea began to comb her hair softly, as if nothing had happened. She no longer seemed angry.

Before Saturniida had a moment to comprehend what ha happened or think about it at all, Apollonia returned from the bathing chambers- re dressed, re-pressed, and ready to go to dinner. Her hair was still tied up with Saturniida's ribbon.


	8. First Quarter Half Moon Pt VII

Dinner passes with much formality but without trouble. Plate after plate of expensive foods pass the table. Delicate soups and salads with tiny green garnishes, well balanced hors d'oeuvre with wine in silver glasses, not one but three robust main courses, and an extravagant pair of cakes in the image of the moon and sun. Meals are always made in relation to how important the alliance with a clan is. Saturniida tries to mull over why this alliance is so important if they haven't seen the Solar Clan in so long- but she's dreadfully distracted.

Apollonia sits far too far away, situated near the royal adviser, the Moon Clan emissary, and the generals. Saturniida tries not to watch as she talks and laughs with them, obviously enjoying the food and drink. What does she think of the earth-lamb? Which generals does she like? How many planets has she visited?

Saturniida feels the Queen's gaze on her from her left. She knows her mother sees her quick glances. But Saturniida is learning how to play this game. She pretends not to see, and looks away from Apollonia- places her hands down from her food into her lap- just visible to the Queen but not obviously so. She runs her fingers absently on her bracelets and straightens her back, continuing her small talk with the Solar Kings without a pause. She feels approval flow towards her- wisping out into the air and then ebbing away.

Her smile is real for just a second as she realizes her mother really doesn't know she planned the gesture. And neither does the crystal- humming on its own in the Sanctuary- waiting for their return.

When she next glances at Apollonia she is surprised to see the flame-haired princess already looking her way- adjusting her tied hair without help of a servant. Apollonia's fingertips linger on the ribbon for a nearly indiscernible amount of time, but Saturniida feels it in her heart. When dinner is dismissed Saturniida and the Queen make a bee-line for the Sanctuary.

-

The small eternity she spends in the crystal meditation ends as always it does- with a sputtering jolt back to life. Back in her room Saturniida removes her bangles carefully, dons her dressing gown, and sits on her balcony. The crisp night air often helps to alleviate her dizziness and shakes- breathing deeply in the wide-open space often helps her recover. She is alone on the balcony- sitting against the railing and starting to work out the shallow wheezes when a light shuffling noise breaks the air.

Too weak to move she turns only her head to see Apollonia clambering over the same balcony edge- worry etched into her powerfully determined face. She lands easily and instantly crouches next to Saturniida, holding her face in her hands- "Saturniida! What's happened to you? Shall I call for someone?"

"No.... I'm fine..." she squeezes out, leaning into Apollonia's hands.

"You don't look fine." her ruby eyes dart all over Saturniida's form, taking in her paleness, her slight tremor.

Feeling the warmth of Apollonia's hands helps Saturniida to stabilize, "This happens all the time. It's ok."

"This happens all the time? It's definitely not ok." She sits back against the railing and lets Saturniida rest her head in her lap. Saturniida's gorgeous lilac hair spills over her legs and the marble floor, reflecting the light of the moon in a way that doesn't seem possible. Her breath catches in her throat as Saturniida closes her eyes. Her gut instinct tells her that this has to do with how closed off- how trapped- Saturniida is. Her words of rage die in her throat. She's not in a position to help. Yet. Saturniida's breathing returns fully to normal as Apollonia plays with her hair idly, "I came to see you because we're leaving tomorrow."

At this Saturniida frowns and opens her eyes. The sorrow there seems as endless as the void of space, "I don't suppose you'll be returning soon."

Apollonia lets her hand train from Saturniida's bangs to her forehead, coming to rest on her cheek. It's a strangely intimate gesture for Saturniida, who carefully bring her hand up to rest on top of Apollonia's.

"Not likely. But I do have an idea." she smiles softly and carries Saturniida to her bed, "Will really you be alright?"

Saturniida can't tell if she really believes or completely lies and she looks up at Apollonia, "Absolutely." For this beautiful woman, Saturniida thinks, she will be alright. And maybe it will even be true.

The still orange strands of Apollonia's hair tickle Saturniida's face as she's set down. When they create a small curtain, softly filtering the low light of her room into a nearly golden glow, she feels her chest stir. She wants to be brave as she reaches out to Apollonia's warm and open face- the very picture of honesty.

For just a moment Apollonia leans down and presses their lips together, but the moment is fleeting. She smiles and leaves.

-

"Princess' Serenity's guard could benefit from improved combat tactics. Our daughter assessed them yesterday and has expressed great concern for their skill level. We humbly offer to lend her and her attache to you once per month to help train your guard in all Solar Clan tactics." The kings seem very serious as they approach the point of departure, and so does Apollonia, standing as tall as she can.

 

The Queen pulls a smile onto her face, "How generous, but what can we do for you in return?"

 

"We expect nothing in return but do hope that you might be willing to consider allowing Princess Apollonia to attend some of the diplomatic lessons you provide to the even etheral Princess Serenity, while she is here."

 

And so the pact is sealed.


	9. First Quarter Half Moon Pt VIII

Things become routine quickly.

On the fourth week of each month Apollonia and an attache of 2 Solar Generals- Aafya and Ales- journey to the Lunar Kingdom.

On day 1 the Solar clan teaches individuals- how to polish themselves.

On day 2 the Solar clan teaches groups of 4- the most efficient group for covert tactics.

On day 3 the Solar clan teaches entire units in rotation- general exercises.

On day 4 the Solar clan generals teach the leaders tactics classes, while Apollonia has the day off.

Days 5, 6, and 7 Apollona attends all the classes and meetings that Saturniida does. Etiquette, primers on different cultures, histories, meetings with politicians, ambassadors, and the lunar people.

At night, after Saturniida returns from the crystal meditations, Apollonia sneaks to her balcony. Often in the early part of the weak she is too tired to chat for very long, and more than once she falls asleep in Saturniida's arms. Later in the week they stay up and talk about the time they spend apart, and what happened during the day. It is often idle chit chat but it's fulfilling to be honest and open with someone.

-

Apollonia isn't paying as much attention as she should. She tries to remind herself to smile politely but it's harder than she was expecting. How does Saturniida keep her face so still, and keep that graceful (and obviously fake, to Apollonia) smile in tact all the time?

The throne room is comfortable cool, but no sunlight reaches the interior. This seems to be by design- many of the rooms in which important political meetings happen do not receive any sunlight. Apollonia thinks it may be a defense tactic- no large windows makes less prone to attack, and easier to defend if problems arise. But this sends shivers down her spine. What kingdom, what clan, would prepare for war in this climate, this far in advance? The Solar Clan has long been known for its combat excellence- and have always made good money on mercenary and bodyguard work. But the Solar Clan "palace" is little more than a long house with a thatched roof. There is no military tactic to how it is built.

Apollonia knows that her fathers are sending her to learn diplomatic excellence because the need for military and combat excellence has been declining for centuries. They don't need to say it for it to be true and obvious- there's a reason her people have started to invest time in textile trade and energy sourcing.

But then why has Queen Serenity agreed to have her soldiers trained vigorously? Why would the Lunar Clan need this relatively new palace, built like a fortress, where no sunlight reaches the insides- leaving the skin comfortably cool, but numbing all the while?

-

Saturniida sits next to her mother. Her throne is beautiful figures of moon nymphs playing among calla lilly, achillea, laurel, oleander, and asphodel- all carved in moonstone and marble, studded with diamond. But more importantly, it's uncomfortable.

 

"His majesty wishes to thank the ever so gracious Queen and Princess Serenity. He regrets to inform that he will not be visiting, due to long held traditions of seclusion." Another day, another ambassador. It surprises Saturniida that someone has declined invitation to the court. She moves in her throne slightly, trying to reposition the thin silk cushion without notice.

 

"Long held traditions of seclusion? Interesting. What says he regarding the invitation to our galactic alliance, and trade?" her mother asks calmly, but Saturniida knows she isn't happy.

 

She contemplates Apollonia standing to her left, and Rhea behind her. It's nice to have Apollonia with her on the weeks she visits. Whispering about the day, helping her to memorize the day's lessons, idly holding her hand, - the brief moments at night are everything to Saturniida. When she falls asleep, it's sound. When she wakes up, it's refreshing. Everything has changed.

 

"He respectfully declines all offers. Our Clan Parliament has opted for centuries to decline all trade and alliance agreements, and will continue to do so." The ambassador seems to steel himself, standing tall. Quite frankly, he looks as bored as she feels.

 

"Do tell why he hasn't shown himself to personally decline? We've prepared quite the arrangement for him here. And indeed, the terms of our alliance and trade were generous." The Queen's words are more than icy.

 

"I'm not interested in answering such a duplicitous question, your Majesty. And we won't be bullied this way." The ambassador turns and leaves without being dismissed, without bowing, without further words.

 

Apollonia chuckles at his ballsy move, his ego, his confidence.

Saturniida slides a hand over one of her bangles- she hasn't ever seen this happen.

And the Queen- gently picks up her staff from beside her throne, and without standing up, smiles. It's a little wider than usual, her teeth barely peeking from behind her lips.

The ambassador drops to the floor, and servants rush to his side.

 

"I'm afraid he's come alone. We'll have to tend to him over night to make sure he's alright. Mona, take care of him." Her words slide easily over the flawlessly smooth stone of the throne room, and she glides out without another word. She doesn't even glance at the limp, shuddering body of the ambassador on the floor as she walks by.


	10. First Quarter Half Moon Pt IX

Oh, how everything has changed.

Saturniida isn't sure why things changed, but she has an inkling. It may have something to do with an obstinate ambassador, returned dead to a king on a distant planet. Saturniida has no prior recollection of this planet- it's one of hundreds. But now it lurks in the back of her mind- almost as shadowy a figure as the crystalline soul of Serenity that paces her wrist bones and tendons.

The crystal meditations are getting longer, and when she wakes, Queen Serenity is already done preparing to leave the chamber.

Her hair is nearly half pure white. It nauseates her to look at it next to the brilliant red Apollonia is now sporting in a similar dichotomy. It looks like blood on snow, she thinks. Or it must- she's only ever seen pictures.

One day, she thinks of herself as Princess Serenity in passing. She lays awake in horror the entire night- wondering if the next shadowy figure in her mind will be herself, as Serenity asserts order in her own body.

-

But, oh, how everything has changed.

Watching a man fall to the floor without warning, a soundless violence ending only with a thud and a tap tapping as he writhed or perhaps spasmed- made Apollonia's path so clear.

That path was as clear as the night she now strode through, just one month later, ready to climb a familiar wall to her favorite balcony. Very faintly, she heard sniffles- the half caught sobs of someone too tired to really try.

Reaching the top, she flew over the banister, scooping up Saturniida and carrying her to her bed. She was cold to the touch- as often she was after the meditations. Apollonia hated those meditations.

Saturniida looked up at Apollonia, fiercely red and orange, warm to the touch, and so virulently free. A princess loved by her people for the right reasons- motivated personally not by fear but by curiosity and love.

And love.

Anyone else would have noticed how stunningly beautiful Saturniida was, even when crying. Her wide, pale, lavender eyes swimming with tears, her face blooming red so charmingly, her hair swaying gently as she trembled. But Apollonia's heart broke to see her thus. She could only see the ugliness of circumstance, and she vowed then to save Saturniida.

"Please," she said, trying to think of the smartest thing to say. But while she'd always been smart, she'd always been more honest, "Come away with me." Apollonia, known for being so bold and brash, spoke with a soft tenderness no one else would ever hear. She was terrified of breaking such a small thing, and she wiped Saturniida's tears away and tucked her into her sheets.

"I....can't." Saturniida stopped crying- instead staring vacantly out the balcony, into the night sky. At the future, Apollonia supposed.

"You can." Apollonia replied, trying to think of any of the dozens of reasons she had for why Saurniida could and should, "You can, and you can be my Queen. The Solar Queen Saturniida." she smiled a plea, and kissed Saturniida's limp knuckles before rubbing them in between her hands- they felt so frosty.

"I can't. The.....moon." Saturniida turned her head towards Apollonia, but didn't look at her.

"You can! My people will protect you- we are renowned warriors!" Apollonia had never felt so desperate in her life, mind racing as she tried to figure out a plan to beat Queen Serenity- a being who could smite a man with only a smile.

"The crystal." Saturniida finally looked towards Apollonia, but her gaze fell through her.

"You don't need to fear it, and neither do you need it." she began to beg, letting go of Saturniida's hands, "Please."

"..." Saturniida breathed evenly again.

"You're dying." Apollonia choked on the words, beginning to feel lumps forming in her throat.

"I was born dead." Though Saturniida's mouth moved, it was almost as if she was not speaking.

"No, you weren't." Hot tears spilled from Apollonia's eyes. They were raw and unbecoming, and no one would have looked upon her crying and said she was beautiful. They would have looked away from the intensity of her, as she mustered up every ounce of courage she had- every beautiful memory of time with Saturniida- every moment with her that felt timeless and weightless and limitless- still streaming tears unbidden- "I love you."

Saturniida finally looked at Apollonia, recognition sparking her eyes to attention for just a moment. But upon seeing Apollonia's face openly bearing the wound of her honest love, she could only look at the silver bangles upon her wrist, and cry. Silent tears in a silent night, far after Apollonia stopped trying to talk to her and left.


	11. First Quarter Half Moon Pt X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw death, poisoning, political warfare, mild gore?

Falling in love had been easy. It had also been much like reading a book. It feels slow until the last page- then it seems abrupt, too fast, and you wish it had taken longer.

Things now happen so fast that Saturniida barely has time to catch her breath.

The transport with the newest diplomat lands with just the right amount of applause. Saturniida idly flips her crescent moon shaped wand between her fingers, reminding herself to breathe. Half of the time she forgets but her body never seems to notice. Its the crystalline twang of ozone in her mouth- the flavor of magic coating her tongue- that reminds her she's not doing something right and the Serenity Crystal is compensating. Although perhaps compensating is the wrong word. She can almost hear it in her head- talking with a voice like hers but calmer, sharper. Not compensating- ordering. Fixing.

The day passes with ease. This particular ambassador is somewhat important. She represents the planet next to the one that had caused such a ruckus. The two planets hadn't had much history together. Alliance would be a good strategic move.

Apollonia is set to come back in one week and Saturniida can't decide if she's excited or not. Half of her aches to see Apollonia and the other dreads to be reminded of what she could have had. Each time Apollonia leaves she has to set the broken bone of her heart, hoping it heals eventually.

Dinner seems to be going off without a hitch. They're eating a heavily spiced delicacy from the ambassador's home planet alongside their usual feast. The ambassador even brought enough for the servants in the palace and for some of the guards. Her good sized attache- nearly 10 servants- is ordered to distribute the gift with the help of the palace staff. They each take a bite when they think no-one is looking, savoring the flavor. Queen Serenity smiles to Princess Serenity when she sees her seeing the servants do so. She nods as they both take a portion for themselves. Mid meal the ambassador asks to be excused to use the restroom. Everything seems to be normal.

One of the generals starts to sweat and shudder. One of the servants starts to retch. Pale faced, Saturniida's stomach turns to stone- no to crystal- as she watches the events unfold. She can't move a muscle as terror rains upon her. High ranking members of the court begin to pass out foaming at the mouth and wailing in agony, falling obviously lifeless. Food, blood, and bile coat the entire room. Her mother, shocked, looks to the ambassador. The ambassador looks grim as she drinks down a glass vial she pulled from who knows where.

"You think you can send a historian to us and find out how our planets work? You think you can kill ambassadors and get away with it?" Her mother starts to stand, but buckles- glowing faintly as trickles of blood begin to leave her mouth. She can feel the tendrils of magic working off her mother, reaching to her instead, "We know an alliance is a fancy word for submission. Fuck you and fuck the Lunar Clan." the ambassador spits into her mother's face and kicks her down. But her mother takes the opportunity to pull her foot- and the ambassador comes crashing down. She's dead before she hits the ground, in a sharp flash of light. Saturniida begins to tremble and hiccup as Queen Serenity rifles through the pockets of the ambassador. She produces another glass vial, crawling her way to Saturniida's chair.

Queen Serenity's breathing is labored as she lifts the vial to Saturniida's trembling mouth. At skin contact Saturniida finds herself able to move again and she snaps the vial from her mother;s hand and begins to drink it down. Her mother's form drops to the floor, glow receding.

One of the servants of the ambassador runs into the room, takes in the scene with seconds to spare and smashes the vial out of Saurniida's hands. It's barely half drunk and Saturniida doesn't know if that's enough. The world around her fades.

\--

It's not enough- but it's also just enough. She can feel her body slow down, the magic trying to reach her. But her mother is dead now and whatever piece of ritual needs to be completed for the power to finish the transfer- Saturniida is sure it has to happen in the Lunar Sanctuary. She's trapped in the dining hall, tied to the very same chair she sat in during dinner. They haven't even bothered to face her away from the bodies of the court. As she drifts in and out of consciousness she dreams the same nightmare again and again- and as she wakes she sees the very same images.

A slap rouses her once or twice but the questions they ask her drift through her ears- everything seems like it's under water. Little bits become clear, "How are you - still alive?"

"The vial? How much?"

"It's been days."

"She's not....."

"...can't just throw..."

"...can we move..."

"...get here?"

Time ceases to have meaning. There's simply too much chaos.


	12. First Quarter Half Moon Pt XI

Saurniida has lived all her life seeing only beautiful perfect things. Flawless floors and ceilings, meticulously pruned trees. When she opens her eyes long enough to begin to register the horror around her she can't process it. Corpses of people she knew, dead for an indeterminate amount of time. Bugs, filth, decay. Her gaze glasses over these images, the rest of her senses slipping over reality in a similar way.

The one sense she zeroes in on, is touch. Who could possibly be holding her so tightly?

But she knows these arms, as they lift her and carry her. Weakly, Saturniida nods in the proper directions when the arms stop walking and float questions to her gently.

A stiff breeze blows orange and crimson hair into Saturniida's face- she can see the wet translucence of blood splattered in it, wonders briefly whose it is.

Finally, as they begin to ascend the stairs to the lunar sanctuary, Saturniida begins to feel awareness. Understanding begins to creep into her mind, fighting against the urgent placation of the crystal on her mind. Panic sets in. She begins to tremble violently, and so does the person carrying her. Now she can feel the steady, damp, drop of tears on her skin. She chances a look at her savior.

Apollonia doesn't look at her- can't. Her hair half up, half coming out of her tactical hair style- her shoulders back- her posture stiff- and her face steely. She looks so determined that Saturniida gives in, finally believes she will be ok. And she chooses to ignore the unending stream of tears Apollonia's eyes spout without permission.

The door to the Lunar Sanctuary melts away as they approach the final landing, and the dazzling refracted light that spills out onto the landing is perfect- fractal patterns dancing in perfect harmony.

Apollonia doesn't seem to see it the same way Saturniida does. Marching through the empty room to the pedestal on which the crystal floats she finally gives in- crumples onto the floor with Saturniida still in her arms- with great hiccuping sobs that tear her throat.

"What do we do?" she wails- more to the crystal than to Saturniida, who hasn't said a word to her since waking up.

In a voice she doesn't recognize at all, she tells Apollonia to bring her hand to the Crystal and step away.

"Will you still be you, after?"

Princess Serenity lolls her head to the side, "She was born dead."

Understanding she doesn't have a choice, Apollonia lifts Saturniida's body to the Crystal and steps back- watching a sacred ceremony she has no right- or perhaps every right- to see.

The crystal hungrily grows and engulfs the body, and in an instant that bright light settles into the room, forcing Apollonia to close her eyes. She hears a chanting she doesn't understand, from a place she can't pin down.

And when the light clears, standing very still and completely alive, is the new Queen Serenity. Lavender no longer graces her eyes or her hair- she is completely an untouched silver. In one hand, a moon shaped sickle, on her wrists smooth bangles.

When she smiles, it's cold.

"You have been blessed by this ceremony, Apollonia of the Solar Clan."

Apollonia stands carefully, "Saturniida, are you there?"

Queen Serenity does not move, hand still resting gently on the Lunar Crystal "I will grant you a boon, if you wish."

"Give her back!"

The Queen says things casually, as if a massacre hadn't just happened on her planet, as if she hadn't just watched her mother die a week ago, as if Apollonia hadn't fought a bloody battle, completely unready, on her way to a normal week of training. "Impossible. Her destiny has been fulfilled."

"How can I change her back? How can I fix this?"

Serenity chuckles- the equivalent of a barking laugh, Apollonia is sure, "Nothing short of pure chaos could ever come close to touching the Supreme Order. And even then, it is useless."

"I'll find a way!" she shouts, storming away.

Memory of a shy girl laughing into a book fleetingly makes its' way across her mind.


	13. Waxing Gibbous Moon

The thing about order is that it doesn't like fighting, it likes winning. Fighting is messy- death, breaking plans, reformulating information, finding new pawns, etc ad infinitum. But winning- winning is clean cut and placid, nice and sharp, very even. And it's final. You can't un-win what you've won.

This is why the newest reincarnation of Queen Serenity merely destroys those planets that want to fight.

Her predecessor of course had tried smooth talking and making easily readable treaties and that was just fine- follow a rule, sign a line- until it wasn't.

Serenity remembers this day as if through a looking glass, not bothering to try to remember what those emotions "felt" like.

The Moon Crystal hums contentedly in her heart as she reaches her hands beyond a first galaxy and into a second and into a third and into a fourth. It is so fulfilling to bring the calm blanket of order to all life.

-

As far as Queen Serenity reaches- suffocating freedom with her heavy blanket of submit or cease- Princess Apollonia flies further.

She will be a princess forever now, with her hair a half colored testament to her abdication of the throne.

Taking the star-seed of the Sun had been less of a choice and more of a survival method. The Solar Clan knew what Serenity would do, and Apollonia wanted Saturniida back.

The reasons were complicated- were messy. But as she left her smiling fathers she knew- they were only living ghosts. Something more important than a new Solar Clan was at stake.

She heard tales of the Great Chaos- that which fights the Great Order. And, well, Apollonia had always been a fighter.

-

Queen Serenity knew, of course. What they said about her.

Heralded as a monster when she was in fact a goddess. In the empty pit where hurt or disgust would have resided- Queen Serenity found only peace. Peace and power.

If there were a time when she would have faltered- it would have been during the Lunar Eclipse.

Only once during her centuries of rule did she experience its fleeting effects. The moon dimmed and her glossy silver hair stopped shining just long enough for her stomach to hurt and for her to look at her hands and be confused- where did this blood come from? Why did she wear these bangles?

But as soon as it had come it was over.  
-

Princess Apollonia knew what they said about her, of course. Sailor Galaxia- strongest of Planetary Gaurdians. She of the dead sun. The rest of the tale would depend on whether or not the culture was a lunar colony.

Those places would tell tales of how she would bring ruin and downfall- how strife and death would visit.

It was these that she avoided in caution and in sadness.

Others, such as those of the Dead Moon, would spread tales of how she would bring freedom and light to the darkest places.

It was these that she would visit quickly then flee, in search of The Chaos but unable to stay and fight.

Ironic- to flee to fight at all.

But every tactician learns how to retreat.

-

There was no clashing when Queen Serenity saved a planet. No swords crossing, no breathless and stuttered last words. No crying, no pain. No drawn out moments of uncertainty, no hiding rebels.

There was only a yes or a no.

A complete eradication of death and disease or a sudden disappearance of all life.

A new start for a planet not under the glorious reign of order, or a vacant lot on which to grow resources.

It was quick and it was easy, like a lilting melody from a dream.

-

Each fallen colony hurt Apollonia freshly- flashing in hear heart and soul as if her own sword was impaling through her ribcage- that dreadful light all over again- the stillness and sterility of a destiny she couldn't foil.

As she fled and flew and fought she would try her best to hope. This led often to daydreaming- ultimately heartbreaking tales she would tell herself of raising a daughter with a beautiful smile, sporting pigtails both gold and purple. Tales of returning home to her fathers growing old and her bed warm, the feeling of sunshine on her skin and a familiar kiss to her shoulder.

-

Serenity did not blink upon hearing of "Galaxia". She didn't blink at all anymore. Nor did she breathe. She glided through her chilly gardens with ethereal grace, something close to a smile on her lips.

Everything was going according to plan.

Now she only needed an heir.  
-

Apollonia followed her heart.

It was as she had always done, and it was all she had.

Finding the Chaos Seed in a place as isolated as she felt, was random.

It wasn't fate- it was chance.

She grappled with herself fighting ardently with her choices. Chaos could harbor as much evil as order.

She understood that to take the Chaos Seed would likely overtake her and erase her, much the same as Serenity.

Her feet hurt and her eyes burned with the redness of exhaustion. Never had she felt more solid and more real, more ready to collapse under the gravity of her situation, under the weight of the stars.

Dead planets and subjugated planets alike in her wake, the Lunar Empire closing in fast.

Memories of a smiling Saturniida fading faster than the dying lights of thousands of people.

Perhaps, it would kill her.

Perhaps, she would gain what she needed to succeded.

She struggled to breathe as she swallowed the burning hot coal of the Chaos Seed, as it seared her esophagus and bellowed smoke into her lungs.

Now she only needed air.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration & Credit
> 
> 1\. Amazing work that originally really got me back into Sailor Moon, with a super fresh and appropriately sad take. https://archiveofourown.org/works/5171699/chapters/11912864
> 
> 2\. Awesome artist with headcanons and AU's better than getting your student debt forgiven. STRONGLY inspired and influenced the sections regarding Serenity & Co: https://sirazaroff.tumblr.com/
> 
> 3\. I'm a little hazy- might be the person who wrote When Stars Fade? If not, still rad af. https://presidentnerd.tumblr.com/
> 
> 4\. Directly inspired the first portion with Galaxia/QS: https://mimimonart.tumblr.com


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